Thursday, October 20, 2011

Goodbyes

Quick note #1: Pinterest might have taken over my life. Even when I'm not enamored with cute little pics of crafts and clothes and quirky sayings, I'm thinking about what I can make, wear or say next that is Pinterest-ing. Somebody PLEASE take down the site. But then, I'm afraid half the female population will start a riot.

Quick note #2: Pinatas are $1 at Wal-Mart. I really want to stuff one with pocket shots and candy for the next adult party. I'm afraid there would be a real fight over the pocket shots.

I went out last night with a friend and her mom, favorite cousins and aunts for a going-away party. She's a quirky, awesome girl who just got married to the most perfect man for her, and they are moving a few states away. I hate that I didn't spend more time with her when she was here, but we definitely made last night count!

While we were at the bar she chose, I heard a voice I kind of recognized. Turned around and saw a guy I went out with a couple of times this summer. Our last date ended when he ditched me at a party without saying goodbye, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to see him. Since that night, I have received exactly one text apologizing with a weak excuse of being drunk and sick, and one "hey!" while at a race. Last night, he was with another girl, who looked cute and nice, and I had an overwhelming urge to introduce myself and suggest that she either take his keys or secure alternate transportation. I refrained, being the polite person I am.

My jerkstore ex-boyfriend and his brother who holds a burning hatred for me also showed up. I tactfully avoided them, despite the brother's constant demonic stares my way everytime I looked around the bar. I really wanted to bring up his recent messy divorce, or ask where I could send his ex-wife a congratulatory note.

I texted a good friend who knows both men about the situation. She told me she introduced the first one to his new girlfriend. I'll admit, I was slightly insulted and hurt. She knew we were talking this summer, and knew about what happened. That she acted as if it was no big deal that he left me really upset me. As if it didn't matter that he treated me poorly. I realize I usually blow things off in public, but sometimes it would be nice to have my friends show a little concern for my feelings.

I have thought for a long time that sometimes the little heartbreaks are worse than one big one. That while not one single guy is worth getting upset over, when they all add up and bowl you over when you least expect, it can demolish a person. Some might think it's crazy, or neurotic, or that I take it all to seriously (I've heard all three), but they also don't know how hard it is to sit there and smile while the people the people who insulted you, or treated you as if you were less than fantastic, act as if it's all no big deal and you're all old friends. While the whole time, all you want to do is flip out and cause a scene and ask how they can live with themselves for being such jerks and idiots. But nooooo.... I'm never supposed to get upset. I'm supposed to roll with the punches and tell them it's not a big deal, and say sure when they reply with "Oh, by the way, if it's on your way home, can you take me and this other chick to my car? My buddies left me. You don't mind, since we weren't a big deal, right?"

Sometimes I wish I had a little more crazy in me.